"Can We Stop Fretting About Modesty?"

The following is an article by Mary Tillotson. Tillotson claims that there is too much emphasis on modesty, and that this war on one side claiming that this is modest, this isn't, and on what men have to say must stop. The following is an excerpt:

Seems like, lately, everyone’s been writing about how much women should wear, why it matters (or doesn’t), how too-strict standards can be emotionally damaging, and how we’re all contributing to the rape culture. I agree that modesty is important, but I’m sensing an unhealthy dose of fear, insecurity, judgment, and tunnel vision. Guys, we all need to chill out and get some perspective. It’s not as big of a deal as we’re making it.

Men and women, all striving for chastity, often get in petty spats because they misunderstand each other. Men are frustrated that women wear yoga pants; women find them comfortable and wish men would make eye contact instead of accusations. Then there’s the classic, “if men can swim in shorts, why can’t women?” followed by a cold-shouldered “you don’t even understand!” It goes back and forth until everyone is exasperated and distracted from the important things in life – like love, respect, courtesy, and recognizing human dignity.

We’re stressing about it too much. Everybody has different standards of modesty, and – wait for it – that’s okay. The Church has never defined what types of clothing are acceptable, and for good reason. She expects us to practice the virtue of prudence in applying a timeless truth to our particular situations. Women vary in what they’re comfortable in; men vary in how much skin is tempting and how much temptation they can handle.

If we’re all going to pursue chastity and treat each other with dignity, we have to realize that we all see the world differently, we all see each other differently, and we have to meet each other halfway. Men, not every woman-striving-for-chastity will dress in a way that meets your individual needs. Women, not every man-striving-for-chastity will look at you without temptation. Do what you can, and understand that others are trying, too. Nobody’s going to be perfect at it, and nobody’s standards are identical to yours.

The full article can be found here. 

Seems like, lately, everyone’s been writing about how much women should wear, why it matters (or doesn’t), how too-strict standards can be emotionally damaging, and how we’re all contributing to the rape culture. I agree that modesty is important, but I’m sensing an unhealthy dose of fear, insecurity, judgment, and tunnel vision. Guys, we all need to chill out and get some perspective. It’s not as big of a deal as we’re making it.

Men and women, all striving for chastity, often get in petty spats because they misunderstand each other. Men are frustrated that women wear yoga pants; women find them comfortable and wish men would make eye contact instead of accusations. Then there’s the classic, “if men can swim in shorts, why can’t women?” followed by a cold-shouldered “you don’t even understand!” It goes back and forth until everyone is exasperated and distracted from the important things in life – like love, respect, courtesy, and recognizing human dignity.

We’re stressing about it too much. Everybody has different standards of modesty, and – wait for it – that’s okay. The Church has never defined what types of clothing are acceptable, and for good reason. She expects us to practice the virtue of prudence in applying a timeless truth to our particular situations. Women vary in what they’re comfortable in; men vary in how much skin is tempting and how much temptation they can handle.

- See more at: http://catholiclane.com/can-we-stop-fretting-about-modesty/#sthash.egpHLaBB.dpuf

Seems like, lately, everyone’s been writing about how much women should wear, why it matters (or doesn’t), how too-strict standards can be emotionally damaging, and how we’re all contributing to the rape culture. I agree that modesty is important, but I’m sensing an unhealthy dose of fear, insecurity, judgment, and tunnel vision. Guys, we all need to chill out and get some perspective. It’s not as big of a deal as we’re making it.

Men and women, all striving for chastity, often get in petty spats because they misunderstand each other. Men are frustrated that women wear yoga pants; women find them comfortable and wish men would make eye contact instead of accusations. Then there’s the classic, “if men can swim in shorts, why can’t women?” followed by a cold-shouldered “you don’t even understand!” It goes back and forth until everyone is exasperated and distracted from the important things in life – like love, respect, courtesy, and recognizing human dignity.

We’re stressing about it too much. Everybody has different standards of modesty, and – wait for it – that’s okay. The Church has never defined what types of clothing are acceptable, and for good reason. She expects us to practice the virtue of prudence in applying a timeless truth to our particular situations. Women vary in what they’re comfortable in; men vary in how much skin is tempting and how much temptation they can handle.

- See more at: http://catholiclane.com/can-we-stop-fretting-about-modesty/#sthash.egpHLaBB.dpuf