Dear Future Husband
Carole et Vincent
Dear Future Husband,
Hey. Hi. Hello.
I would ask you “what’s up?” but that’s awkward because I have no idea where you are or even who you are. I wonder if I’ve ever met you yet, or if we will not meet for a long time. Because there’s a good chance I don’t know anything about you, and I do know myself, let me tell you a little bit about me.
I love many things…To name a few: I love to read. I love to cook. I love to dance until my limbs can’t “flail” any longer. I love to learn new languages. I love to laugh― uncontrollably. I love to listen. I love being Catholic and discovering the beauty of the Church― the saints! I love to serve others. But most of all, I love to love.
Victor Hugo once said, “To love another person is to see the face of God.” To be a Godly woman, I look for inspiration from some of my favorite saints: Thérèse de Lisieux, Theresa of Avila, Maria Goretti, Gianna Molla, Genevieve, and Bernadette. They all lived lives that spoke of love in a way that makes my heart yearn to know God in a deeper manner.
St. Thérèse de Lisieux once said, “When one loves, one does not calculate.” The philosophy behind love in this statement is one of the truest things I’ve ever known and experienced. When you choose authentic love, there is no level you can reach to stop loving someone. To love means that there is no calculation to attempt to reach a fulfillment. Once there is calculation, one must ask, “Is this true love?”
In hopes of you waltzing into my life, I pray that my heart can be open to love each person as Christ loves me. I want to love you for who you are, your self. The self is your center being, or as St. John Paul the Great says, the “I.” There will be no shame or shunning of any action you have made or will make. There will only be place for love and forgiveness, none for hazing. Our home will be one of trying. Blessed Mother Teresa once said, “God doesn’t require us to succeed, He only requires that you try.”
Love is something so beautiful. Love saved me from giving my heart away to various guys before you. My Father in heaven told me that spousal love differs from the love I give to my neighbor. The type of love that you and I will have for each other is sealed only between us and is something that cannot be seen by others. Only I can see the true gift that you are and vice versa. And, yes, soon enough you’ll even love my facial expressions that everyone seems to love to comment about too― talk about a gift, ha.
I pray my heart can be ready to love someone so beautiful.
I know that you are strong. You have been through countless trials with more failure than success. And you know what? I am right there with you. I can be content with my life and confident in myself 364 days out of the year. Yet that one day I fear you’re nowhere out there in this whole wide world, I begin to question not only your existence but the way I live my life as well.
“Why do I try so hard to live counter-culturally? Am I wasting precious time waiting for you? Why do I endure humiliation of saving myself for you in a world full of free-love?”
The answer is because on that one day, or several throughout the year, I love God. I love Him so much. And no offense, but I love Him more than you. I love Him because He gave you to me as a gift, a blessing. He allowed our paths to cross and knew they would, even planned it, since the beginning of time. And want to know something even crazier? I hope that you love Him far more than you could ever love me. I am only a mere helper in your journey to reach the destination of heaven. We will endure many travels on the road of life as lifemates, but He is your soulmate.
I want to help you strive for sainthood. I want you to be the best that you can be in every situation. I want you to reach for the stars and never settle. Back in 2011, I committed to praying for you daily. I offer up Mass for you. After Mass, I pray to bear your burdens until I physically feel the weight on my shoulders. In adoration, I pray for you until my knees go numb. I lift you up before our Lord and Savior, in His presence I pray you’re made full in His grace. I pray for the intercessions of: St. Joseph, St. Peter, St. Michael the Archangel, St. Maximilian Kolbe, and St. Padre Pio.
You are the most beautiful human being, and I have a deep love for you. I wouldn’t live my life in the manner that I do if I did not love you so dearly. I will promise you that I will try, even when I do not think I can succeed. I hope to see Christ in your face and love you all the days of my life. I will help you carry your cross and pick you up when you fall. I pray that you will help me strive to love those that hurt me, fight me, and hate me. I pray that you will call me out… or just hand me a Snickers bar when I’m clearly “not acting like myself.”
My family prays that you can deal with my witty comebacks and hobby of debating. My personality is strong. I come from a humble family of sass mixed with a dash of pride in who we are. Family always comes first, but you’ll respect that because you wouldn’t escape a memory with them from day one of conversing with me. I cannot prepare you for the kind of life you’ll ask me to enter into, but know that I am willing to give you everything. I pray for the humility, that one day, to lay my old life down and take on your last name― in totality of my sacrificial love.
So, in conclusion, I’m running. I’m bookin’ it so fast to God because I know He is the one at the top of our love triangle. I’m going to run to Him my whole life… and I really don’t like to run. So sometimes the run will be a challenge, but that’s okay because it will build character. And also, running will help me find you. I will run and run to the Lord, and when I look around as I run this race of life, I know I will see you, set away from the crowd, running right next to me. At that moment, God will give me a wave of peace I’ve never felt before. In that peace, I will give thanks to God for such an amazing soul to share the race of life with. I pray for the days I will have the blessing of running alongside you to the Lord.
XOXO, Your Future Wife, Katie