4 Ways to Turn Insecurities Into a Source of Confidence
By Johanna Duncan
There's this one thing that at times makes me weak and feel as if I am less. It's an insecurity. I won't tell you exactly what it is because I have learned that's not what matters. My insecurity has changed names throughout the years. In middle school it was my hair after I got a haircut I didn't like and it seemed as if it was never going to grow back to 'normal'. By the time I reached high school, I couldn't care less about my hair, and I labeled something else as my insecurity(ies). College, same thing. As life goes on and my insecurities transform themselves into more sophisticated yet foolish monsters; I've come to realize how insecurities will likely always be there, and it's a matter of seeing them from what they truly are what makes me strong and confident.
1st. Regulate your thoughts and recognize those which are rooted in insecurities. Being critical and humble requires us to fully understand ourselves and therefore know that our thoughts are not facts, and those rooted in insecurities are lies we make up about ourselves.
Feeding into insecurities means that the one thing I am not at peace with becomes the center focus. That's the danger. In the eyes of the insecurity-beholder, even foolish haircuts have a capacity to make anyone perceive oneself as less than who we are.
2nd. Reflect on what about your insecurity bothers you, precisely. On my own reflection I've learned that the problem is often not direct between the insecurity and I, but of what others perceive about whatever I'm insecure about or what I think they perceive.
In cases when your insecurity is established or nurtured by other people's comments you must practice charity. Hurt people hurt people. There's a deep truth in that. When hurtful words reach your ears and heart, keep in mind they reveal more about who is speaking them than of whom they are spoken. Before you buckle yourself up on the high horse of moral superiority, also think in ways you have been resentful and uncharitable; you may not be able to relate to the level of rudeness, but we all have said or done things we wish we could take back. At the end, God Himself scheduled judgement for our last day. Don't rush to the event.
3rd. Those aspects of us which are in ruins, are the ones which require us to redefine or articulate who we are. Perhaps we restore ourselves from who we think we are to who He made us to be. It's a craft project and a quite valuable one, given that we are not only His creation but we are co-creators.
The problem with insecurities is that they become distractions from things that matter- often God Himself.
Insecurities make us vulnerable and consequently able to practice empathy. Without such ability intimate human connection, deep love, and forgiveness would be out of reach. They unite us to Christ, who made Himself vulnerable in the cross and gave us all His love, knowing that some would not love Him back and all would fail Him at times. Thanks to God for the Sacrament of Reconciliation!
4th. Recognize it's up to each one of us to choose between perceiving ourselves as 'not good enough' or do so in the same manner than a farmer looks at its grounds and examines its fertility. Identify which areas need fertilizer and which ones are already carrying fruits.
The goal is not to make insecurities disappear or forget about them. The goal is to give them value and turn them into important assets. Mastering this will raise your quality of life, help you enjoy yourself more, and it will push you closer to Christ.
If (or when) you feel worthless go out and serve. By witnessing the love and necessity existing even among strangers, you will soon realize that you are a pot of gold. That pot of gold is specifically filled with everything which makes us more than mere mortals: Our incredible capacity to forgive, love, and empathise with others. Often times, we need darkness and deep digging to come across gold but it's unquestionably there. That's all the precious security you need to battle against any insecurity.
