A Breakup Healed My Broken Heart
By Meghan Wittmer
Back in December of 2018, I was taking an evening stroll around my neighborhood, bright with Christmas lights. My two labradoodles pulled me forward as I lagged behind, lost in my thoughts. I had just graduated from college and started a big-girl job at my dream company. I should have been overflowing with happiness, but I was miserable. Ever since my dad’s death from cancer in 2016, I had been ignoring the pain and grief it had caused me. I thought there was no way to process the past; as a result, I struggled to live in the present and look forward to a brighter future. Deep down, I knew this needed to change. I prayed: “If I could find a compassionate, steady guy, he would heal my broken heart. Lord, please send someone to help me be strong.”
A few days into the New Year, I connected with a guy at work and we began spending a great deal of time getting to know one another. He listened to me, held my hand during Mass, and left handwritten notes on my desk assuring me that things would get better. He was the first guy to ever show this kind of an interest in me and, at 23 years old, I thought I had met my match. God had answered my prayer, I was sure of it. After all, the guy’s name even meant “strength.”
Six short weeks into dating, he broke up with me. I was crushed and didn’t understand why this was happening. God had answered my prayer so clearly, and only a few days after that evening walk. I cried out to Him, “God, how is this helping me be strong?!”
After this guy and I broke up, we continued to be friends. This was the easiest route because we still worked together. However, my feelings for him continued to grow and, when he didn’t return them, I knew this friendship was not healthy. It took courage for me to cut off the emotional dependency we shared, but I did it. I stood strong when he popped by my desk to visit me; I responded to his texts in just a few words, and made no effort to see him. Eventually, we went our separate ways and are no longer in contact.
Looking back now, I see God’s hand in this breakup. It showed me how much I was hurting over my dad’s death—not over this guy. I was just using our relationship to patch the hole in my heart. This guy’s presence had been comforting, but he couldn’t fill the shoes of someone I really missed. Therapy opened my eyes to see that I didn’t even want him to take my dad’s place. My therapist encouraged me to lean into other relationships in my life. I turned to God, my family, and friends for love and support. With them by my side, I faced the past and began my journey to healing.
As time went on without this guy in my life, I learned that I already was strong—I had survived the death of my father, graduated college, moved home with my Mom in a town new to me, and started working full-time. When my father had died back in December of 2016, I easily could have given up and quit college—trust me, I wanted to—but I kept on going. That quiet strength from God had been inside me the entire time and once I acknowledged this, it began to grow.
I once thought a guy could save me from my struggles. Now, two years later, I rest in the fact that Jesus is the source of my strength. I lean upon Him in the tough times. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 18:2, which says, “I love you, Lord, my strength.” I’m grateful that God used a breakup to bring me closer to Him, the only one who can bring peace and healing to the hurting human heart. I encourage you to turn to Him for strength amidst any trials you may be experiencing. He will not let you down!
