Carolyn's Wedding Part I: The Details
Grab your cup of coffee and sit back! I had a lot of fun writing this and have dreamt of this blog post for YEARS! Though I’ve never been able to write out my love story with Peter, this victorious day was a life-time coming. Our story has always felt so intimately sacred, and just as he frets on how he can never quite seem to capture me in a drawing (he’s an artist), I’ve never been able to capture him in words. Suffice to say, the Lord has set us each apart before the world was created…and our story is just beginning.
All photos (aside from a few) are by Rachael Mattio Photography—I highly recommend Rachael if you’re in the MD/PA/VA area!
The Invites
From the start, we wanted our guests to feel loved and since gift giving is one of my love languages, we included a small print on handmade paper that included a quote from Blessed Bartolo Longo, one of our favorites. (Shortest story ever on Bart: he was a Satanic worshiper who not only converted, but became a priest, and then created the Luminous mysteries and promoted the rosary. We love him because he shows no matter how far you may be from God, NOTHING can stop you from becoming a SAINT).
Also on this paper we included a drawing Peter did of the Blessed Mother, and we included stars and flowers on her because we absolutely love a quote often attributed to Friedrich Fröbel (the man who ‘created’ kindergarten): “It all comes down to stars and flowers.”
Lastly, we pulled a quote from Pope Leo XVIII, often called the Rosary Pope, “Let them plant everywhere the rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary; let them propagate and cultivate it with fervor.”
When planning our wedding, we were inspired by my love of flowers and gardens, and our mutual love for the rosary. This quote seemed so perfect! On the back of the actual invite is another lengthy quote from Fulton Sheen on gardens and the Blessed Mother. I think we packed as much symbolism into our little wedding suite as possible!
Beauty
The moment you’re engaged, people begin asking if you’ve set a date; but immediately following this question comes another: what’s your theme? What’s your colors? And I responded, “I just want it to be beautiful.” Themes and colors seemed too limiting and restrictive to me, and a little cheesy. I was inspired by weddings from long ago, when they were simple and beautiful. (I share more in Part II about why this was surprisingly difficult for me to communicate).
The Rings
Peter proposed using his great grandmother’s ring. I love how it’s an heirloom. Peter got it cleaned prior to the proposal, and it looked like a brand new ring afterwards! He also researched and found a beautiful ring box where on the side was engraved my favorite Bible verse: Isaiah 43:4, “Because you are precious and glorious in my eyes, and because I love you.”
For his ring, we went with a gold hammered one hand-made by 1924, a vintage styled branding agency that is vocal about promoting Christian values and the dangers of porn. We engraved 1 Corinthians 2:2 in his ring: “For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.”
The Dress(es!)
I dreamed about wearing my mom’s wedding dress ever since I was little. I’ve often described it as similar to Kate Middleton’s: lace sleeves, a-line, simply timeless. Several other women in my family have worn it as well, including my two aunts but most notably my grandmother who bought it for $50 in the 1950s. The last time it was worn was I believe in 1990. I was so giddy when I finally got to try it on, and the best part: it fit like a glove! The only issue was I had to have the hem let out slightly. I wore mom’s dress during the actual wedding Mass and for photos after, but then I switched into my second dress.
This dress, which I call my reception dress, also has a cool story. To start, it’s much lighter and less scratchy than my mom’s, and because I’m a simple person, it felt very me. I actually bought it just a few weeks after a break-up with a man who I swore was going to marry me. It was a tough time in life, but that didn’t stop me from gasping when I saw this dress AT GOOD WILL FOR EIGHT DOLLARS. I loved how simple and modest it was in the front, but it had the elegance of a beautiful open back.
The Veil
My veil doesn’t have much of a story other than it was hard to find one with a blusher! There’s a lot of misconceptions about veils, but there’s just something undeniably sacred about having it over your face as you process in. Eventually we found this one at a local boutique.
The Mass
We got married in my hometown of Emmitsburg, MD at the Grotto of Lourdes on the mountain. This place is truly sacred and has been visited by multiple saints throughout the years. I have a big family, and we are blessed with a lot of friends, so our guest count was over 200. Many were actually religious sisters and consecrated men, and several were old friends from
Pete’s Baltimore art days who don’t have much religious affiliation at all. I wanted a lot of participation during the Mass (both externally, like with singing, but also internally, stuff that moves the heart), so I designed the programs with the full readings and lyrics. I also incorporated little sketches of Peter from over the years, as well as a shout out to my little sister that she’s single. (Little dollops of humor peppered our day for sure, probably the majority of which was an inside joke with myself hahaha.)
I’ve dreamt about the music selections for my wedding Mass for a long time and each hymn continues to choke me up, and let me tell you: people SANG. It was a total glimpse of heaven on earth!
If you’re looking for some inspiration, we chose:
“O God Beyond All Praising” for our entrance hymn
This is such a victorious hymn! It has one of my favorite verses of all time in it: “And whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill, We'll triumph through our sorrows and rise to bless you still: To marvel at your beauty and glory in your ways, and make a joyful duty our sacrifice of praise.” But be sure to talk to your priest about an entrance hymn—ours got nixed at the rehearsal due to the way we processed in.
“O God You Search Me” for our Offertory
To me, this song totally encompasses the story of someone who has been on a long journey, seeking, and reassured that the Lord has never left him. (Favorite line: “Even the darkness is radiant in your sight.”)
“Be Thou My Vision” & “Amazing Grace” for Communion
Just let me break out the tissues here! Both are so timeless and classic, and Amazing Grace seems to speak to Peter’s story. But also, I knew the entire congregation would and could sing this song, and having everyone sing filled me with such deep joy!
“Come Thou Font Of Every Blessing” for processional
I attended Mount St. Mary’s University and Peter worked at the Grotto for several years, so the line “Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it, Mount of Thy redeeming love” spoke to our history in this sacred place.
Our Readings
We wanted everything to point to our gratitude to the Blessed Mother’s intercession in our lives. Our first reading was Genesis 2:18-24, the bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, and was read by my brother. The second reading was Revelation 12:1-6a, 10ab, the woman clothed in the sun, read by Peter’s sister. Our Gospel was John 19:25-30, when Jesus gives us His mother as He hangs on the cross. It’s so monumental that the final thing Jesus did before His death was to make His mother our mother.
Mary Crowning
I remember the first time Peter asked if I wanted to get together prior to us dating, and he suggested we pray the rosary. I distinctly remember groaning when I read that text. That’s where I was at in my faith. But through his example and by God’s grace, the rosary has become “heaven’s leash” in our lives. Simply giving the Blessed Mother a bouquet didn’t seem enough to us, especially since my own would likely dwarf it. Instead, we decided to do a full on crowning with a floral wreathe. The Coronation is the pinnacle of the rosary, and it seemed so right. What better way to end the Mass than crowning Mary?!
Guests
Again, I wanted our guests to feel loved and gifted, so I planted little Easter eggs for them around the reception. I had a lot of fun doing this. We surprised our many, many, many artistic friends with a mini gallery of their work. In addition, we did song dedications/shout-outs to certain people, and used my parent’s wedding song for the Anniversary Dance. Our vocation in marriage is one of love, but I would say our secondary vocation (or maybe even the way it’s professed) is through our love of art. Lastly, and I tickled myself pink when I had this idea, but I created a little Introvert Corner where I jokingly wrote our introverted friend’s names on a sign up sheet so that they can sit and read in a corner, undisturbed, and have a little quiet in order to recharge. Just a funny way of saying “We see you” to those we love.
Other gifts included our favors. Peter has been deeply moved by the Apostolate of the Returning King for years, and before we were even engaged, I reached out and inquired if they would be willing to donate any of their books as our wedding favors: and they said yes!
Art
We also gave each guest a little card that included my favorite line of all time, pulled from the first page of World’s First Love, a book on the Blessed Mother by Fulton Sheen: “The heart has its own secret melody, and one day, when the score is played, the heart answers: this is it.” Included on this was an image by Picasso of a a woman and a dove, which we interpret as the marriage between the Blessed Mother and the Holy Spirit. The marriage of art and the faith kind of came together seamlessly.
I also wrapped chocolates in a Matisse painting for each table (sigh…these little details mean a lot to me!). And I had a ton of fun with designing lots of signs. My most tongue in cheek one was the directional yard signs helping to guide our guests to the reception hall.
However, like I shared above, I just wanted beauty, which mostly came out through the abundance of flowers we had everywhere. At the end of the night, we invited guests to take home a bouquet.
Our First Dance
One of the first songs Peter ever shared with me was “Old Love” by Luke O’Brien. It instantly became “our song,” and one of the first things I did after our engagement was secretly reach out to Luke to see if he’d be able to surprise Peter and come sing our song live. His response was immediate: yes. Peter and Luke had been in correspondence before, swapping original music and sharing feedback. I tried to make myself forget this big secret so that I wouldn’t go crazy, and it was especially hard when Peter would talk about how much he admired Luke and would love to hang out with him some day…it still blows my mind he never made that little leap of logic to say, “We should invite him to the wedding,” but I’m thankful he didn’t! Peter’s reaction was everything I dreamed it would be! My siblings also had colorful confetti wands that added to the fun. You can watch it here!
Father Daughter Dance
Ever since I was little I knew what my Father Daughter Dance would be. Every Sunday night growing up, Dad would tuck us in and we would have “Snuggle Night,” when he would ask us what we remembered from the Gospel, shared some insight on it, would tell us a story, and end by singing “Edelweiss.” But I wanted to make it a little extra special for him. My ingenious 12 year old self had the insight to record Dad singing Edelweiss to us the night before he left for his year tour in Iraq. Our Snuggle Nights never resumed, but I was able to find that recording and splice it to the classic version. My father has literally traveled half way around the world to protect me, and I’m told there wasn’t a dry eye in the house when we danced. Dad had to close his eyes the whole time and couldn’t say a word because he was so choked up. (In his words, he was a total “soup sandwich.”) I love this photo because you can see the glint on one of his tears, along with the diamond ring I still wear that he gave me on my 13th birthday.
The Cake & Food
Straight up BBQ for this South-of-the-Mason-Dixon girl! And Kelly, Peter’s sister, made my DREAM cake. Simple, whimsical, and delicious! I found the cake toppers at Good Will for $2 and loved the vintage vibe, as well as the girl holding a kitten and the boy wearing overalls, which is a staple in Peter’s wardrobe. People aren’t lying though when they say you don’t get a chance to really eat anything! I was able to scarf down cornbread and had one moscow mule and that was it!
Decor
I pretty much thrifted everything, which I do in just about all facets of my life hahah. I’ve always loved brass candlesticks, and I thrifted lots of vases for fifty cents or a dollar and we painted them to look like stone (using baking soda and paint). Facebook marketplace came in clutch with tablecloths, and I also perused the tablecloth/curtains/sheets section of Good Will and found some beautiful drapery that we hung up in various places. My dad made the backdrop which was literally just a peg board on stands (I lived the minimal look), but it was the vision I dreamed of!
I wanted flowers to pretty much be the only decor because flowers are my own personal love language. For being a neutral person and not one well-versed in color, I felt an odd tug on my heart to go as vibrant as I could. I also LOVED teaching my family how to reflex flowers (especially the roses and tulips) the day before, and my little brother (who, I should add, is 25) made a “masterpiece” which was a single massive rose in the smallest vase, but you bet I put that on my head table!
You can also see my 2 of my 4 sister’s bridesmaid dresses in the photo above. I wanted a beigey-rose colored palette. I think my strongest opinion about the wedding came down to bridal party outfits, and by strongest opinion I mean lack thereof haha. I never liked cookie-cutter matchy-matchy dresses. I always thought that was so weird to have grown women wear identical dresses, but my sisters were going crazy when I gave them my requested criteria of 1) a midi dress length 2) a little whimsical and 3) within a beige-rose color palette. The groomsmen wore whatever suits they had on hand because honestly, a man in a suit never looks bad. I asked the girls to wear white heels and we bought the guys matching ties, which tied it all together. I loved the relaxed but cohesive look.
The Send Off
My dad, husband and my own self hate sparklers—they just seem too dangerous, and if I’m honest, everyone does them so I thought it’d be cool to do something different. I was stoked when I found these streamers on amazon and they were AMAZING! One pack was more than enough—we were caught in the world’s most colorful web!
What I didn’t plan
And as always, there’s things that happen that you have no control over that always take you by surprise. For us, it was walking into the reception thinking we’d surprise people with a nerf gun but we were greeted with multiple tables firing nerfs at us. The entire night amongst the brass candlesticks and colorful flowers and confetti, it was very common to see nerfs shooting through the air. And to that, I say, what a vibe.
