Carolyn's Wedding Part II: The Stresses I Didn't Expect
I had no family drama, we worked hard to keep the wedding simple, I had incredibly supportive friends, and I knew that our wedding day was just a day…so how could I still possibly stress about my wedding day? Well, I DID.
There were several things that surprised me the weeks leading up to my wedding. Though I was practicing the art of letting go and was prepared for some mental heavy lifting as an introvert, I was still caught off guard by the following:
1) Sustaining excitement
I began to get strained by trying to sustain and maintain all the excitement people were projecting on me. The question “Are you getting nervous? Excited?!” will be constantly thrown at you with loving and giddy smiles, but I didn’t realize that it’s just not natural to be excited for…well, so long! Through prayer I realized you can be happy—but also exhausted, excited—but overwhelmed, giddy—but also emotional. Give yourself a lot of grace during this time, and be honest in prayer with Jesus.
2) Matching energy levels
This was definitely the most taxing thing for me out of the entire wedding. If anything, my wedding week proved that I am an introvert tried and true! I get energized through alone time, and it’s hard to carve out quiet when you’re the center of attention, but it’s so important you do so! Simply just thinking about the week ahead made me so exhausted, and at one point I told my mom I didn’t know if I could do it. I even minimized my schedule and cut out any and all social interactions as possible, but still! I naturally try and match whatever “energy level” or “vibe” someone gives off, and it was so exhausting bouncing from excitement with my mom, stress from my dad, anxiety from my fiance and then joy the next minute, guilt and eagerness from my sister, and so on. So it’s important to tune in to yourself and find peace with however you’re feeling.
3) The final stretch
The phrase that kept coming to mind was “finish strong.” You made it this far with all your planning, and though there’s a point when you need to start letting a lot of things go and simply be present, don’t lose the joy you had when you started this journey. A few times I wanted to throw in the towel and say “I don’t care” to anything and everything that came up. You’ve been running a marathon, and the last mile is the hardest. The exhaustion and stress and all that hard work from those months prior might be finally catching up to you, but don’t give in to it! Definitely amp up your rest (go to bed early, take naps, increase prayer).
4) Your cycle
Oh these feminine woes! What if you’re fertile on your wedding night and you’re trying to wait to become pregnant? What if you get your period? What if you get your period on your honeymoon? What if you have cramps and feel sick on your big day? What will your husband think about it all? I was surprised by how MUCH these questions filled my brain the days leading up to my wedding. The serenity prayer helped me a lot here: accepting the things we cannot change. It’s one of those areas you will have absolutely no say in, so why lose your peace to it? (Easier said than done, but worth reminding yourself). I was also determined to not let the devil use these fears or worries of such a good thing to distract me from what was most important. Have an honest conversation with your soon to be husband. Odds are, everything will work out how they are supposed to. Maybe you do get your period on your honeymoon, but that could help you both in going to sleep together that night without feeling “pressure” to have sex. Maybe you are fertile, and you choose to abstain, and you can simply enjoy falling asleep with your husband at your side. But it’s important to not isolate yourself with these fears or worries.
Lastly, I just highly recommend not buying a house and moving the week before your wedding. That will help your stress level exponentially. ;)
