How to Read More Books (And Why It Matters)
By Jody Benson
“So what do you do all day?” This is a question people often wonder about stay-at-home mothers. We sometimes roll our eyes or chuckle to ourselves when it’s assumed that we watch a lot of television or clean the house and fold laundry all day.
While I do fold an endless amount of laundry, I get a look of surprise when I tell people that I also read. At least thirty minutes per day, every day, with my children around, I read for myself. Is this selfish? I’d argue it’s anything but selfish and actually good and noble.
Self-care has become a buzzword. We praise women for making time for themselves, but we rarely hear that this self-care should include reading. Perhaps this is because we see self-care in terms of how we nourish our body (workouts, eating well, etc.) and how we feed our souls (Mass, prayer, etc.) and forget about our mind. It can be hard to see the value of such a quiet activity in which the hidden, interior life—the life of the mind, heart, and soul—expands and grows. Even though there is nothing physical that reading produces, it teaches us how to behold beauty and helps us in our encounters with other women who long for community sustained by depth and meaning.
As mothers, we are often tempted to see our vocation in terms of utility and production. We have everyday tasks and responsibilities that need to be done to help our families thrive—making meals, folding laundry, and scheduling appointments. But amid all this work, our vocation as mothers also calls us to foster a contemplative life. In Gaudium et Spes, Pope Paul VI says, “The family is a kind of school of deeper humanity.” As mothers, we are called to nourish the souls of our family. We can only do this well if we nourish our own souls and make time to ponder and understand our humanity.
But we have other callings to attend to that help us nourish our own souls so we can nourish the souls of others. As friends, we are called to be sympathetic listeners and voices of love, reason, and wisdom in our conversations. As daughters, we are called to understand our identity in light of our relationship to God and let that inform our family relationships. Reading teaches us those lessons.
So how do we carve out this space for leisure in our day? In a world that surrounds us with distractions, it can be hard to make time for reading. When I talk about how I love to read, I’m often asked, how do you find the time?
It’s interesting though that most of my friends tell me they want to read more because they know it’s important. We should make time for things that are important! Reading good books encourages us to appreciate and seek out beauty, helps us engage in better, more meaningful conversations, and draws us into deeper relationships with others. Reading also teaches us to be a gracious listener and humbles us by helping us notice what we did not see before so we can bring goodness to the world.
What qualifies as a “good” book? Good books include classic literature but can include other books that encourage us to become better, guide us in wisdom, and help us understand the importance of others’ stories and experiences. These kinds of books don’t help us escape from reality. Rather they teach us lessons in living well and noticing the world around us. This kind of reading nurtures the inner life and helps us become better wives, mothers, and friends.
Now for the big question: How do we find the time? I read one to two books a month, and I have three suggestions so you can try reading more too:
1. Break it down
Calculate the number of pages you need to read per day in order to complete the book in a month. It’s an exercise in self-discipline that is important because reading good books leads to wisdom and feeds our souls.
2. Devote time during the day to reading
It is important that children see how we value reading. In doing so, we cultivate a culture of lifelong learning in our homes. We also show those around us that leisure is important.
3. Join a book club
Reading together protects us from the loneliness that many mothers experience by drawing us together in sustainable friendship and community. These groups make our conversations more fruitful through a shared pursuit of meaning, a willingness to know the minds and hearts of others, and a devotion to cultivating community. Finally, book clubs can show us our unique role in our vocation and how that is expressed in daily life.
Through these suggestions, I hope you are able to find space for leisure and take up reading. See how it bears fruit in your family and relationships and share what you’ve read with others. They’ll thank you for it.
