Living in the Present Amidst Uncertain Times
By Madeleine Coyne
More than one person has joked with me recently that we must be reaching the “end times” due to all of the division and turmoil our world is facing. Unsurprisingly, this has led to some increased blood pressure and spiraling anxieties. It is not necessarily a bad idea to remind myself to stay in a state of grace and always be “ready” for the Last Judgment (made a bit easier now that the sacrament of Confession has started back up in my parish). However, this idea should not create the amount of worry that it does.
Worry is woven into the fibers of my being. Worry is who my children often get as a mother, and worry is who my husband married. Knowing this before we were married, my husband sagely chose to include Matthew 6:27 as the Gospel reading for our wedding, in hopes that the words would really sink in on this momentous day: “Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?” (Sadly, his admirable attempt failed.)
Essentially, worry is a lack of trust. It’s a lack of confidence in God—questioning that He has my back and that He knows what He’s doing. And the truth is…I have found it increasingly difficult to trust in God in recent months and weeks during this tumultuous year. Things don’t look the way I want them to. The world doesn’t look the way I want it to. There is so much unrest, division, and hatred. There is so much to worry about, in short.
So much has gone wrong, and so much looks like it will continue in this trajectory. So much is out of my hands.
But it is in God’s hands, and His are stronger and more capable than my own, thank goodness. He sees everything. He cares and He is fair. One day, all wrongs and injustices will be made right. One day, everyone will have to answer for their actions here on earth. This is not a dismal “end times” message intended to ignite fear; but rather, it is the Truth that is meant to instill hope and peace. It is the Truth that allows me to live in the Present, when I choose to, rather than the all-too-uncertain Future.
In C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters, the demon, Screwtape, explains to his demon nephew, Wormwood, how the “Enemy” (God) wants us “to attend chiefly to two things, to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present.” Lewis uses these demons to explain to us how we experience freedom through living wholly in the present, rather than obsessing on things outside our control. Screwtape tells his nephew that demons often try to tempt humans to live in the past, but “It is far better to make them live in the Future . . . the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity.”
These words have stuck with me since I first read them several years ago, opening my eyes to the dangers of placing too much stake on the Future. Screwtape reveals that “we [the demons] want a man hag-ridden by the Future—haunted by visions of an imminent heaven or hell upon earth.”
Stunned, I realize that this is exactly where my worries over the current state of our country and the world has led me—to anxiously await the Last Judgement with trepidation, or else the worst possible outcome for the direction of the world’s problems, but this is not what our Lord desires. Our Lord desires that I live fully in the Present—trusting Him, loving Him, being entirely grateful for my life and my many blessings, while doing what I can to make my world a better place today. This does not mean that I should remain idle and indifferent concerning the world’s problems; it simply means that He wants me to take each problem on one at a time, today, through my small actions, prayers, and sacrifices.
I heed the demon’s words: “Nearly all vices are rooted in the future. Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead.” Fear, especially, need not rule me. Love is greater than fear, and I will not wait to love. Love begins at home, today, right now.
