Have You Met Our Lady of Sorrows?
By Camille D Mancini
“Our Lady of Sorrows, stab me with a desire to love unceasingly, and prevent my weak and selfish heart to harden. Soften my heart to hear the tender voice of God and to willingly respond.”
During my junior year of college, I was feeling particularly convicted about the possibility that my vocation was for religious life, and I wanted to attend a formal Come and See event. While most Catholics understand that this is a pretty small step in the grand scheme of the discernment process, I was raised by a family who practices their faith only when convenient. To them, the religious life is an archaic cult that no sane person has chosen since the boomer generation. I knew that telling them I was going on a Come and See would be this huge misunderstanding, but I couldn’t lie... so committed to the Come and See and chose not to tell them (yikes, I know).
My college has a strong Marian group on campus called Fiat and, a couple weeks after this decision, I decided to join my roommate at a meeting. My friend, Olivia, led it on our Lady of Sorrows. She showed us a captivating image of Mary, somber and calm, with a dagger piercing her sweet heart. Her eyes were painful for me to look at and I became hyper aware of the current restlessness in my soul from not telling my family about my discernment. Olivia explained, “Despite Mary’s pain from losing her own son, her deepest desire is to crack open our hearts so that God can pour his love into our hearts .” These words cut through me, and I felt Mary reaching out her gentle hand to guide me through this tumultuous future towards my vocation.
After that meeting, I spent every night under the pieta in our campus chapel, begging her to soften my heart and the heart of my family members to hear and embrace whatever God was calling us to. I prayed: “Our Lady of Sorrows, stab me with a desire to love unceasingly, and prevent my weak and selfish heart to harden. Soften my heart to hear the tender voice of God and to willingly respond.” One day, I was finally given the courage to tell my family over FaceTime that I was going on the Come and See. I was abundantly hopeful but while I tried to calmly explain the small step this Come and See would be, I watched their faces turn white. All they heard was: Camille is joining a cult. They were not open to the idea at all and it left me feeling rejected and alone in my desire to be understood. Despairingly, I dragged my limp body down the stairs of my dorm to the chapel and collapsed right under the statue of the pieta. I could not pray words, I just sobbed for hours alone under Our Lady until I was out of tears (dramatic, I know). I was about to return to my dorm when at 12:00 A.M., when I received a text from my father (keep in mind we speak exclusively about sports, and I have never seen that stoic man cry).
“Well I cannot fall asleep tonight, and I cried all afternoon, but today when we facetimed, I saw the face of God in you. If you believe this is your mission, and can help people best, I truly support you. All reservations are selfish. I just saw grandchildren vanishing. Also I hope you don’t have to give up your phone cause that would be hard for you. Love you, Dad.”
She softened his heart, alright. Our Lady of Sorrows was able to somehow help my stubborn, stoic father become open to his oldest daughter’s vocation. In utter shock, I finally managed to get myself back up to my dorm. When I walked in, I stepped on an envelope. When I opened it – I KID YOU NOT – it had the picture I loved of Our Lady of Sorrows inside with a note from my friend saying, “This did not look right on my wall, but I think it belongs to you.” I had never even mentioned my devotion to her or anyone else. This little gift from Our Lady told me I was not alone and it softened my heart to trust the Lord’s call. Now, this story is nuts, but if you are feeling hopeless, misunderstood, or alone with your family during this tumultuous time, our Lady of Sorrows is with you. Whether it takes a pinprick of a needle or some serious demolition equipment, this beautiful woman has the ability to soften any heart. She can open the eyes of your heart, too. Let her help you to see.
Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us
