Redeeming Brokenness

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By Mary Grace Dostalik

In the modern age, it is possible to compare oneself with others more than ever before. The consuming desire for perfection or what seems like perfection, grows in us slowly. 

“Oh, what a pretty picture,” you comment, scrolling through Instagram. Then the comparison begins. “Why doesn’t my life look like that?” You wonder, even though you know that a picture doesn’t tell the whole story. You still desire that perfection.

The desire to be perfect can be all-encompassing. Even in prayer, we desire perfection. We have an idea of what prayer should look like and if we fail to achieve our ideal, we give up.

Reject the idea that you must always strive to be perfect.

Reject the idea that you always have to appear perfect for others.

Reject the idea that your brokenness makes you undesirable and unlovable.

We are not made to be perfect. We are made to be with Him.

Ask yourself if your desire for perfection is ordered to God. Be aware of the voice of the devil, who tells us we are worthless. He tells us that we might as well give up on ourselves and on God if we don’t meet our own unrealistic expectations. 

We are told we must be beautiful and witty, smart and thin. Whenever we fall short of this ideal, we plummet. Whenever we fail to have a serene focused hour of adoration, we wonder what is wrong with us.

The devil tells us that our brokenness prevents us from being loved.

Reject that lie. The desire for perfection forces us to focus on ourselves. It is a selfish desire. In contrast, the ultimate aim of holiness is closeness with God. The only thing we must do is love Him. 

Charity, or love, is a vocation to which all are called. St. Therese of Lisieux provides an incredible example of the vocation of love. Therese struggled to find her vocation and felt herself inadequate. She did not feel strong enough to become one of the great saints who performed incredible acts of holiness. After years of discernment, Therese finally realized that she was not called to any such great acts. She was simply called to love. In her autobiography, The Story of a Soul, Therese writes,

“I understood that the Church had a heart and that this heart was burning with love. I understood it was love alone that made the church’s members act, that if love ever became extinct, apostles would not preach the gospel and martyrs would not shed their blood. I understood that love comprised all vocations.”

Therefore, understood properly, holiness is possible for everyone. Each task presents an opportunity to unite oneself with God and love is the means by which this unity is possible. 

You are enough. He is there for You. He is the one you seek. As St. John Paul II writes, 

“It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.”

Remember that is through your brokenness that you can be redeemed. With Christ, you can become whole. It is only in surrendering our brokenness to Him, that we are able to join in His perfection and glory. Allow His love to shelter you. Rest in His embrace.

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Knowledge of the Heart

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Asking To Be Loved