The Love of a Child
By Mary Grace Dostalik
Growing up, my family would pray the Rosary every night as a family. Around age 7, I got very excited when it came to be my turn to lead a decade. I developed my own “method” of prayer at this young age. I would pray quietly, “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, JESUS!” As I got to Jesus’ name, I would yell and run into the middle of the room, striking a ballet pose.
I don’t remember how this habit began. Looking back, it was even somewhat out of character for me as I’ve always been shy and timid, even more so as a child.
As I got older and experienced praying the Rosary outside my family, at church, or in groups I was in, I remember having to stifle my inclination to shout out Jesus’ name in order that no one would think I was weird. Eventually, I just stopped.
I look back and wish I could recover some of my childlike faith. I was unafraid of loving Jesus.
These days, so many fears run rampant. The fear of what others think. The fear of disappointment. The fear that Jesus and His plan will not satisfy me. These are the fears that can govern us, if we let them.
The kind of fear that I’m talking about is the fear that begins to slip into your life inch by inch. You don’t realize how afraid you are becoming until you are suddenly constrained. You begin to panic and wonder how in the world you can ever be cut free.
But once the fear has been there, it begins to feel comfortable and even normal. You are used to being afraid now. You are used to considering others’ reactions. You are used to not doing what you know you should do because you’re afraid. Your fear becomes a crutch.
We are called to be unafraid and follow Christ. How can we do this if we are too afraid to listen to Him? How can we shed this fear?
I find the answer lies back in my childhood, in that little girl who was unafraid to shout Jesus’ name. We have to relinquish control. We have to trust in Him and be brave enough to give ourselves to Him, completely. We have to let ourselves be children.
“I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to little ones.” Matthew 11:25