The Multifaceted Feminine Genius: Leaning Into Our Everyday Longings
By Emilee Stadler,
“Thank you, every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world’s understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic.”- St. John Paul II, Letter to Women
We are two Kansas kids, married by the time we were 23. A teacher turned stay-at-home mama upon the arrival of our first child, and a farmer. We moved to the country into a 100-year-old farmhouse with land and a creek for the kids to play in, and baby #2 on the way. Beautiful. I thought my life would be set. Isn’t this many a Catholic girl’s dream? Check married, mother, and house off the dreams list. I once thought that in becoming a wife, mother, and homemaker, I would be fulfilled. I once thought I was done dreaming.
God had other ideas.
Discovering other longings
I quickly found that though I am incredibly charmed by my intelligent, gentle, cowboy-boot-wearing husband, my whimsical first-born, and my blonde, blue-eyed second daughter, I have other longings and new dreams. They involve other ideas and activities that spark joy in my heart: baking Oreo balls, writing, assembling a beautiful outfit (complete with makeup, the right shoes, and jewelry), and buying beautiful Catholic liturgical planners.
Though I initially wondered how I could want anything more than the abundant blessedness I’ve already been gifted, I’m learning these desires are not something to be ashamed of or to be put by the wayside. They are part of the very desires God wrote on my heart when He made me. They are part of my feminine genius and I have renounced them far too many times. Being in the trenches of motherhood, my thoughts often go something like this:
“It isn’t the right time.”
“It will be way too stressful.”
“What if the baby wakes up?”
“I’m being selfish.”
“It’s too expensive.”
The list goes on.
Yes, being a mother is my primary job and, yes, it does come first. But, it is not the only way I can give glory back to Him. God wants me (and you) to be who we are fully, completely, and thoroughly for the good of the Kingdom. Our Father, who wrote our hearts, invites us to be partakers in His divinity. We lack humility when we declare that we are anything less; or, in my case, when I consider the “Emilee, you need to keep dreaming” aches irrelevant to my vocation.
Living out my feminine genius
When I am living out my feminine genius—writing / sharing / baking alongside being a wife and mothering—I am being who God wants me to be, and pulling my weight in the salvation of the world. Hidden and quiet, loud and visible, in small and big ways.
Maybe you are a mama, maybe you aren’t. Maybe you are caught up in changing diapers and kissing boo-boos, or maybe you’re spending late nights in the classroom, office, or hospital. Whatever your vocation or station in life, God wants you to discover and acknowledge the unique things written in your feminine genius.
As I mentioned before, I like to bake and write. I think having a liturgical calendar in the house is important. I also love to get dressed up for a special event or attempt to style my hair on an ordinary day if an opportunity presents itself. At face value, all of these things could be done in vain. But, when inspired by God, these can be used to be generous, build relationships, inspire beauty, or uphold the dignity of the human person—all of which are important facets of the feminine genius.
This past June I attended the 2021 Given Forum. GIVEN inspires and equips the next generation of female leaders to “receive the gift that they are; realize the gifts they’ve been given; and respond with the gift that only they can give.” The best way I know how to describe my experience was an embrace from God. There, I was able to dream and be inspired by others’ dreams, to love and be loved, to see and be seen, to receive and be received. This experience jump-started my discovery of my own feminine genius.
For you, maybe the discovery or deeper understanding of your feminine genius starts with applying for the next GIVEN Forum, or maybe it is as simple as sitting in silent prayer and asking the Holy Spirit to help you peek into your feminine heart. May the Holy Spirit and the Blessed Virgin Mary guide you in your journey.
