What Visiting a Convent is Really Like
By Isabella Childs
If the thought of visiting a convent, let alone joining one, makes you want to do the spiritual equivalent of a 90mph drive in the opposite direction, you are not alone. I, too, have felt the same. But when, maybe only out of curiosity, I finally decided to visit a convent, the time was certainly not lost on God and His grace.
Visiting a convent was always something I said I’d do, in the back of my mind, after hearing countless talks and sermons from priests as a teenager. Do I think I have a vocation to religious life? Not necessarily, but it just seemed like a good idea to give Jesus a chance, especially considering that he’s the perfect man and all that.
On the internet, you can watch countless videos of priests and religious discussing their experiences of finding their paths in life. During my third year of college, I began watching videos by the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist, on YouTube. The sisters have a series of light-hearted and inspiring videos about the path to religious life. These young women exude warm joy, even on video, talking about how they left standard, thriving careers to join the convent. Having been instructed by a more stoic set of religious sisters, these videos thawed the ice on my heart that kept me thinking about religious life with a kind of cold horror.
It took me a few months, just thinking seriously about visiting a convent, my first semester of senior year in college. Then I made a rather spontaneous decision, realizing that there is a Franciscan convent near my parents’ house and I could go over Christmas break. I found out online that the Mother Superior accepted old fashioned letters of introduction, so I typed out my letter and sent it off. The Mother emailed me three days later with the dates I could visit. She didn’t say much else.
So I packed a duffle bag with plain clothes, toiletries, and books, and drove to the convent for a three-day stay.
The sisters let me into the kitchen, through the back door, after I rang the bell. I was nervous, but the sisters were very welcoming. The sister who answered the door explained that she would be my “guardian angel sister,”and would guide me through the days of my visit. She showed me the convent and introduced me to the other sisters, who were working in the different rooms.
I was surprised to find my room was homey, with soft carpet, a floral comforter on the bed, and a bathroom. On the desk, the sister had put a copy of the order’s Rule and some spiritual books. I read the Rule.
The sisters left me to unpack, and then my sister guide came to get me for Vespers.
After Vespers, I enjoyed Sunday supper with the sisters— the only meal in the week during which they talk. Afterwards, I helped dry dishes in the kitchen. The sisters practice silence while they do their chores during the day, so that they can get more done, but the silence isn’t strict.
After cleanup, I joined the sisters in their recreation room— they call it “Bethany.” The sisters have two white cats that keep them company. One of the sisters teased one of the cats with a red flashlight, pointing it to the floor, so that the cat tried to catch the moving spot of light reflected from the flashlight. We watched a kind of comedy made to explain works of literature to kids, called “Wishbone.” It was charming seeing the sisters being silly about their silly movie. Observing sisters or speaking to them in public, you don’t get this “inside view” of the sisters as they are at the convent— natural, happy, and even silly! Sisters really are regular people, and like other people, they really do have fun! There’s an insightful quote that goes something like: the joys of marriage are visible while its sorrows are less visible; the sorrows of religious life are visible while its joys are less visible. The sisters stopped recreation promptly when the bell rang, and we went to the chapel for rosary, Compline, and night prayers.
Sister explained to me that after night prayers the Grand Silence began, when the sisters were not allowed to talk. We passed up to bed in silence. I was surprised that I was ready for bed, even though it was only 9:30.
The next morning, my full day at the convent began at 5:20 am. I woke up early, refreshed, since I had gone to bed at 9 instead of my usual 11. The bell called us to chapel at 5:50 am. At the chapel, we recited Lauds, had thirty minutes of silent meditation (I dozed much of the time), and prayed morning prayers. Mass was at 7:00. After Mass, we went and ate breakfast on our own. Bread, bagels, cereal, coffee, and tea were laid out buffet-style. The sisters who were going to teach (some of the sisters teach part-time at a nearby Catholic school) left with their breakfast.
After breakfast, I was assigned a chore (taking ornaments off the Christmas tree in the hall). The sisters have a whiteboard near the convent front door on which they write their different assignments during the day next to their names.
Late in the morning, sister brought me to speak with Mother Superior. Mother told me about how the order was founded and asked me about my life. She emphasized that we can discern our vocation, as long as we strive to be open to God’s Will. If thinking about a particular vocation makes us worried, we are not truly hearing God’s voice. God’s voice speaks to us in a spirit of peace, she told me.
After midday prayers, Terce, Sext, and None, lunch and cleanup, we took a walk around the convent and enjoyed each other’s company.
In the afternoon, while we ironed habits and chopped vegetables in the kitchen, I spoke to the novices about their discernment to the convent. They were both twenty years old and had entered the convent when they were nineteen. One of the sisters had entered college, knowing since the age of thirteen that she wanted to become a sister, and ended up leaving college because she felt it was too distracting for her. The other sister told me she had decided she “would never become a sister,” after having gone to school and being taught by the same sisters in the convent. She started a program to become a physical therapist. A year after graduating high school, she went on a vocations retreat and thought: “Why not?” and joined the convent.
One of the professed sisters told me she had completed a bachelor’s degree, worked for years as a nurse, and joined the convent at the age of 28. With a broad smile on her face, she explained that God never lets experiences in our lives go to waste. She said that her love of people which she used to give in nursing naturally transferred to her life as a sister. One of the oldest professed sisters told me she had gone to the Naval Academy with hopes of later becoming an Episcopalian minister, had served in the Navy, converted to the Catholic Faith, and eventually joined the convent.
The next morning, I went to the school where some of the sisters teach and sat in on both high school and lower school classes. The atmosphere of the school was happy, and the students were well-behaved and acted respectfully towards the teachers. Of course the little ones were cute! I spent the remainder of my last day helping out with chores and joining the sisters in prayer.
The few days at the convent went by quickly, and I was sad to leave the peaceful place and the sisters, who had treated me like a friend from the time I walked through the door. My guardian angel sister gave me a strong, affectionate hug before I drove off.
Although the Franciscan sisters’ life did not seem like one I would choose to live, at least at that time, being at the convent assured me that the goodness of God abides in the charity of these consecrated souls. When I was tempted to worry about whether or not this higher calling was for me, I realized that God calls us all to the same Love, the same End—Himself. Kneeling in the chapel with the sisters at Mass, I looked at them in their veils, thinking how saintly they seemed, but then I raised my eyes and saw that the priest held the Blessed Sacrament out to all of us. Whatever our state in life, God is constantly giving Himself to all of us and calling all of us to the same vision and enjoyment of Himself in Heaven.
However, dear reader and sister in Christ, if you have even the slightest curiosity about what the convent is like, do not hesitate to reach out to a community and make a little visit. God is generous, and generously rewards even a semblance of generosity. It will not be wasted time.
