What's The Point Of Dialogue?
By Kiki Hayden
“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Romans 12:3, NRSV).
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved discussing the meaning of the universe. As the token Christian in many friend groups, I was hit with big questions. We let hot chocolate (years later, tea and coffee) grow cold as we debated the existence of the Creator, the authorship and authority of Scripture, and the nature of morality. But the moment a friend thought I was trying to persuade them to change their beliefs, they closed up, finished their lukewarm beverage, and went home. I quickly discarded the expectation that I could convince anyone to agree with me about such profound topics as the existence and nature of God.
Luckily, persuading others to believe in Jesus isn’t my job, or yours. Only He can do that. So we are free to discuss philosophies without putting the pressure of persuasion on ourselves or our conversation partners. The resulting atmosphere of open-mindedness and respect is mutually beneficial: both participants in the conversation can objectively consider each point of view. Since there is only one Truth and His name is Jesus, everything that is true, logical, and consistent should lead both conversation partners closer to Him, step by step—even if it doesn’t seem to.
The role of such conversations is not to bring about conversion, but merely to open our minds and increase our understanding. True conversion doesn’t occur during a philosophical conversation; it begins with a personal encounter with God, something only He can provide.
Philosophical conversations address topics such as the nature of knowledge, truth, morality, and the divine. Mutually challenging each others’ differing points of view is an important part of this process—not to persuade or convince, rather to better understand the other point of view—like in the prayer of St. Francis: “O Master, grant that I may not seek… to be understood as to understand.” (If you want to learn more about philosophical conversations as I describe them here, I highly recommend Professor Daniel H. Cohen’s TED talk, “For Argument’s Sake.” If you want to know more about philosophy in general, The PhiLife Team Youtube channel is a good place to start.)
Thus, the goal of the Christian engaging in philosophical conversations should be to facilitate mutual understanding—a difficult task in a divisive culture. To start, we can adopt the attitudes of the ancient Greek philosophers: listen to all ideas, assuming that everyone’s beliefs are logical and consistent until proven otherwise. In his book Four Witnesses, Rod Bennett wrote that these philosophers “prided themselves upon the fact that just about any viewpoint could gain a respectful hearing among them—at least until they felt that it had been conclusively disproved.” According to Bennett, the agnostic-turned- Christian Justin Martyr used this very cultural atmosphere in the second century to field conversations about Jesus in a similar manner.
Perhaps, like me, you’ve never taken a philosophy class. Even so, I’m confident we can adopt what Bennett describes as the philosopher’s “unwritten code of honor.” We can carefully consider everyone’s point of view even if it contradicts our own understanding of the truth. There is a difference between respecting and agreeing—a difference that our current culture would do well to remember.
In my conversations, I have found that most differences in perspective can be traced to assumptions. While assumptions can be evaluated and reasonably chosen, most cannot be definitively proven or disproven with the scientific method. We often don’t realize that we hold certain assumptions until we find ourselves challenged. At the end of a conversation—even a very good one—it’s unlikely that anyone is changing their assumptions about such fundamental topics like truth or morality. My hope is, though, that both parties will understand and respect each other, even when they disagree.
I have said that philosophical discussion is a mutually beneficial process. That means our own faith is enriched by these conversations too. By regularly challenging our faith, we discover which aspects of our beliefs are founded on strong evidence and which might be our own flawed interpretations. Personally, I’ve found many inconsistencies and mistakes in my own thought processes; over time I’ve tried to readjust and refine my opinions and understanding. In Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis wrote, “If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man….There is nothing progressive about being pigheaded and refusing to admit a mistake.”
Faith and reason are complementary. Always. So the more we refine our understanding of the truth, the more deeply we know Jesus, who is the Truth. “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). During open-minded conversations, my faith has been deeply edified by considering the philosophies and beliefs of atheists, agnostics, Hindus, Buddhists, Pagans, Muslims, Jews, and Christians with different interpretations of Scripture. Scripture tells us to “test everything; hold fast to what is good” (1 Thessalonians 5:21). All that is good and true leads us closer to the Trinity, and that will hold fast even when it is challenged.
So I encourage you to join friends of other faiths for a cup of something warm and openly discuss the differences in your beliefs––without trying to change anyone’s mind.
Before labeling these conversations as wasted evangelization opportunities, consider this: in my own experience, when I try to convince my friends to change their beliefs, they seem to grow wary of anything related to Jesus or Catholicism. On the other hand, when I’m respectful of their beliefs and experiences, atheists, agnostics, and friends of different faiths have happily accompanied me to Bible study, Eucharistic adoration, and even, occasionally, to Mass. They ask questions and listen carefully to my explanations, because they trust me to give their own perspectives true consideration and respect as well. They are even open to hearing how much strength I draw from my personal relationship with the Lord because they, too, can share their own emotional experiences with me without criticism. With the pressure to convert removed, they seem comfortable to enter spaces where Jesus is worshipped and adored.
I am confident that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit can take things from there.
