Why Dressing Up for Yourself Matters
By Rebecca Corgan,
Curling my eyelashes; laying out dresses and matching earrings on my bed; wearing pants that have structure and shirts that aren’t the same as the ones I’ve routinely slept in.
So 2019, right?
Over the past year, we’ve seen a resurgence in comfort couture. We’ve turned to loungewear en masse and put our stiff denim away. I’ve embraced my sweat suits and cozied in my home office snuggling in a blanket all day—and, when I have gone into an office, I’ve typically turned to garments one step away from pajamas in the name of comfort. I’ve ditched makeup (thanks, mascne) and been rocking a casual, laid-back, natural look.
And, you know what—it’s been perfectly fine. More than that, it’s been lovely. I needed a break from getting dressed up to the nines (or, well, the sixes) every day. As we look forward to whatever our upcoming socializing and working plans may be, it’s certainly the case that we may be nearing a refreshing paradigm in which the casual is celebrated.
However, I’m finding myself (personally) in need of a break from my break. After luxuriating in loungewear for a year, I’ve found that there are days when I need the boost that I get from a perfectly-styled bomber jacket or my now-back-in-style wide-leg jeans. I’ve resisted, however, reasoning that I had nowhere to wear my nicer clothes.
Here’s the thing, though: It’s time to remember that we are reason enough to wear beautiful things whenever we want. Let me explain.
Dressing well for others: A timeless sign of respect
Tom Ford, an American fashion designer, once noted that dressing well is a form of good manners. This has been seen throughout time and across many cultures—including our own. (There’s a reason, after all, that we don our “Sunday best.”) When we put on our colorful sweaters, polish our shoes, and apply the perfect red lip—or whatever our particular aesthetic bent may be—we’re doing so for many reasons.
One of these reasons is to show the people we spend time with that we value them. That, in effect, we invested in and prepared for the time that we anticipated sharing with each other.
I’m personally touched when others dress well for an appointment with me: It’s one of the ways others tell me, “You matter.” I find it’s a tangible way I can communicate to others that they matter to me as well.
I wonder what it might be like if—instead of reserving my nice pieces solely for others—I wore beautiful dresses, every once in a while, just for myself? Would I feel that appreciation? Or would I just feel odd and guilty (and, likely, that I’d just spill something on a good sweater, so, what would be the point)?
Dressing well for yourself boosts your happiness and sense of self-worth
If you dress nicely for other people as a sign of respect, it’s hard not to extend little tendrils of that same externally-directed respect to yourself, as well. It’s been said that we are what we eat; it seems, too, that—at least sometimes—we are what we wear.
The act of putting on beautiful clothes can be an act of self-love. It can also be a brain-stimulating moment of creativity before (or after) a long day of work. We also tend to be more optimistic when we put on new clothes; perhaps, on a physical level, the action connotes a fresh start.
That’s not all that our daily uniform can give us, however. There are extremely practical benefits associated with the clothes we put on in the morning.
When you’re dressed nicely, you tend to make healthier choices. You tend to make more confident business decisions. When you wear bright colors like red, you tend to stand out more in photographs—and your self-esteem increases. If you’ve embraced a personal style, wearing clothes that express this style can make you feel more like yourself.
I don’t know about you, but as we begin to move past the worst of the pandemic—that’s something that I need help with.
Choosing to expand our definition of daily wear could be the fun, creative outlet we need this year
I’m all for eating breakfast in my pajamas, because I can—and I’m not advocating the return of business casual, particularly if your job has a work-from-home policy. However, I am saying that it can be fun to dress beautifully for no real “reason” at all—and, with the flexibility that many of our working paradigms may offer going forward, we have the opportunity to play around a bit with the concept of our daily style.
If you’re contemplating taking your nice things in for a spin, as it were, here are some suggestions for navigating style in the now, just for you, because you’re worth it—even if you’re not going anywhere:
Take some time to think about what your personal style may be.
Nicole M. Caruso, an author and beauty consultant, says that “What we wear non-verbally expresses who we are. We all want our personal style to be our way of saying I'm comfortable in my own skin, proud of where I've come, and hopeful to where I'm going.” What pieces of clothing help us unlock that pride and that hope (and that comfort)? If we don’t know, we can use down time to experiment.
Start noticing how different clothes make you feel.
Next time you need a dose of fun or confidence, reach into the back of your closet and pull out something you’d normally only wear for a special occasion—and see how it makes you feel. We already tend to exercise this in a different direction: When we know we need comfort, for example, we reach for the threadbare hoodies that we’ve kept from college. See if using the same logic in a different direction gets you where you need to be.
Embrace mixing, matching, wearing “high” and “low” pieces together, and leaving your look a little undone.
I don’t know about you, but I learned many of my style preferences and rules some twenty years ago—and some of them haven’t changed. To an extent, this is okay—some of those rules are mainstays of my personal style—but it can be freeing to break those rules and experiment.
As you’re exploring your closet’s options, finding new ways to make your pieces wearable and comfortable can make fancier outfits more approachable—or laid-back looks feel more intentional. Match your flowy dresses with sneakers; wear a fancy necklace with an old school t-shirt and cut-off shorts. Match neons with neutrals, or take inspiration from menswear (or the Italian idea of sprezzatura) and leave a wayward hem unbuttoned, untucked, half-cuffed, or rolled.
Try something that feels a little odd or uncomfortable, see how it makes you feel, and recalibrate. Then, do it again. If it makes you feel any better, remember that your comfy sweats will always be there for you at the end of the day.
In the past year or more, the circle of people I see regularly has dwindled to zero—or one, including my husband. The amount of effort I’ve put into my personal appearance has gone downhill as well. I found over the course of weeks and months that I missed the act of getting at least a little dressed up on a daily basis. When I looked at my beauty products and nicer sweaters, though, I felt oddly guilty for “using them up” (or causing them wear, or having to wash them) for just me and my use.
Let’s stop doing that. We’re worthy of our nice things—and this year may be the perfect time to remember how much fun working our wardrobe can be.
