Am I Not Enough?: A Meditation
by Steffi Siby,
Hanging on the cross. Bloody, bruised, and battered.
He asks me,
“Am I not enough?”
I was sitting in the pews, looking at the cross like I had done countless times before. But this time, I was struck by it in a new way. In a new light, I appreciated that this was his ultimate sacrifice so we could be redeemed and have life, life in this world and eternal life.
Is what Jesus did for us on the cross enough for us? Then why do we live as though it isn't enough? Why do we live shackled by the chains of our sins and flesh? We’re all in the clutches of sins such as pride, envy, greed albeit to varying degrees.
We are meant to be a people of joy. We have a lot to rejoice over as our God died for us and gained eternal salvation for us. However, this can just be an abstract idea rather than the reality of our lives.
“We are the Easter people and Alleluia is our song.” These words attributed to St. Augustine were repeated by St John Paul II as he prayed the Angelus on 30th November 1986 in Adelaide, Australia.
These words come from the recognition that Christ frees us from the shackles of sin and this gives us the joy and desire to say Alleluia.
We need to consider whether we are saying Alleluia in our daily life or whether it is just reserved for church. God wants to enter into every single aspect of our life. But first, we have to let Him.
It is all too easy to see our faith as a particular part of our life rather than our whole lives. God is everywhere and he is in the intricacies and mundane details of life, too. We can be too busy and restless but God is yearning to be there for us in all those moments.
There are evidently things that we struggle with that prevent us from fully embracing and trusting God. However, these aren't things that we can sort out on our own. We need His healing.
The truth is, we are not self-sufficient. We only need to look at our lives and we quickly realise how fallible we are. We can get caught in the same problems and sins repeatedly. Our feelings and emotions can lead us astray. We chase after goals and accomplishments only to be left feeling empty.
These are all indicators of how imperfect we are. But, much more importantly than that, it is a sign of our total need and dependence for God. Without Him, we can do nothing. With Him, we can pray for the grace to align our will to his perfect will.
When we are asking ourselves if Christ is enough, we also need to accept that we ourselves are not enough. There is nothing we could have done or still can do that could take the place of what Christ did for us. The promise of our salvation is a gift from God just like our faith is a gift from God.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God; it is not from works, so no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8,9 NAB
A true gift is given freely and Jesus gives us the ultimate gift on the cross. For us, to live as though this is not enough is for us to not receive or accept this gift. It is to dishonour the most remarkable act of self-sacrifice that has ever existed.
My meditation on the cross made me realise with a jolt that when I’m complaining about life constantly, I am showing a lack of appreciation for what Jesus did for me. Too often, I fall into the trap of living as though I am a slave to the world and all its problems.
But the reality? Jesus has set me free from sin and I am made for a life beyond this world.
We will never be enough but Christ is always more than enough.
Let us live like he is enough.
