How to Transform Anger into Mercy
By Anna Laughery
There are many virtues which people of all faiths and backgrounds extol. Courage, kindness, wisdom, love, and hope are recognized by many as admirable qualities. But one virtue that is central to the Christian experience seems to have fallen out of vogue. The virtue of mercy is truly essential to the Christian understanding both of God and of oneself, but it often feels harder to find—and practice—in the current political and social climate.
From injustice to “cancel culture,” from violence to the increasingly dehumanizing, polarizing social conversation, mercy is rarely found on social media or in newsrooms. I have found myself falling prey to this merciless mindset, often jumping to harshly judge those with whom I disagree. A few weeks ago, I was spending some time in prayer and I found myself sitting in anger, stewing over the words of a few political figures with whom I vehemently disagree. In the midst of this anger, I was struck by the memory of Jesus’ words from the Sermon on the Mount—“Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy” (Mt. 5:7)—and was instantly ashamed and embarrassed.
I had become so stuck in my anger and resentment that I had completely turned myself away from practicing mercy, and thus from receiving God’s mercy.
I knew something had to change, so I began studying a saint who is affectionately known as the “Secretary of Mercy.” From her life and the sharing of her conversations with Jesus through her Diary, I learned four valuable lessons which have helped me begin to change my attitude of anger into one of mercy.
The life of Saint Faustina
Helen Kowalska, the future St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, was born on August 25, 1905 in Glogowiec, Poland. At the age of sixteen she wanted to join the convent, but her parents refused to let her enter. She was so convinced of her vocation that she would not let the refusal of her family hinder her from giving her life to God; she waited patiently, working and serving her family until she was able to join the convent. Finally, at the age of twenty, she joined the Congregation of the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy on August 1, 1925. Upon entering, she took the name Maria Faustina of the Most Blessed Sacrament.
Most of her fellow sisters thought she was a sweet but commonplace addition to their community. Little did anyone know the deep and intimate relationship that Sr. Maria Faustina had with Jesus. Both throughout her time preparing to enter the convent and during her years in the convent, she had visions of Jesus in which he spoke to her clearly and gave her direction. These visions continued throughout her whole life and led to a deep and painful union with Christ. She suffered greatly during life from spiritual battles and physical illness and finally died from tuberculosis at the young age of thirty-three.
The most important of Jesus’ commands to Sr. Maria Faustina was for her to write down all of Jesus’ appearances to her. Because of this, we now have all of Jesus’ messages in the form of St. Faustina’s Diary. She kept this diary until the end of her life, and it has not only become an invaluable spiritual resource to countless Catholics, but has also led to a reinvigoration of the value of practicing mercy in our lives. Her diary and her message of mercy are as relevant today as ever. These lessons found in her diary are powerful tools to serve us in the daily battle to choose mercy over anger and resentment.
1. Constant prayer
The first lesson I learned from reading St. Faustina’s diary is the importance of constant prayer. When you fall into an attitude of anger or resentment, it is easy to distance your thoughts from what is good and beautiful. Things that once brought you simple pleasure, such as a car ride on a sunny day, can feel like inconveniences or a waste of time. The virtue of constant prayer helps to right this attitude by drawing the mind back towards the beautiful.
Though the idea of constant prayer seems impossible, St. Faustina models this virtue throughout her diary, and one instance really illustrates it well. On her way to joining the convent, she finds herself lost in a foreign city. She initially panics, but immediately turns to prayer, saying, “Mary lead me, guide me.” The Lord answers her prayer instantly, directing her to a place to stay for the night. The next morning the same thing happens—at a loss for what to do, she asks the simple question and is given an answer in the form of guidance to the convent, where she arrives safely a short time after. Though these two requests for guidance seem insignificant, Faustina was unafraid to turn to God even in her need for directions.
St. Faustina’s simple example of turning to prayer when faced with challenges big and small is a habit we can emulate; doing so may help us both to grow in the virtue of constant prayer and better overcome attitudes of anger and resentment.
2. The beauty of humility
The second lesson I learned from St. Faustina is the beauty that is found in loving humility. Today, Faustina is a world-renowned saint, but during her own life she was often overlooked and misunderstood. Instead of letting her littleness lead to anger, she let it lead her to Jesus.
When she first entered the convent one of her superiors gave her this advice: “Sister, let simplicity and humility be the characteristic traits of your soul. Go through life like a little child, always trusting, always full of simplicity and humility, content with everything, happy in every circumstance.” These wise words are applicable to us too! Instead of letting the circumstances of our lives feed our anger or resentment, we can learn to respond in childlike humility and acceptance.
In the past few weeks I have tried to follow the advice of Faustina’s superior in my own life and have found it incredibly powerful. Whenever something goes wrong in my day, my first instinct is to get upset and ask, “Why?” Now, I try to take a deep breath instead and pray, “Lord, I know this isn’t what I planned, but I trust that your plan is better than my own.” Though I often forget, this little habit has helped me grow in humility and trust.
3. Understanding your own misery
When stewing in a mindset of anger, like I found myself doing a few weeks ago, it is easy to focus on the flaws of everyone else while ignoring my own weaknesses. St. Faustina helped me combat this mindset with another lesson. She wrote in her diary, “In my own interior life, I am looking with one eye at the abyss of my misery and baseness, and with the other, at the abyss of Your mercy, O God.” By contemplating her own misery in tandem with God’s mercy, she was able to avoid focusing on the flaws of others while simultaneously avoiding falling into great despair.
Russian novelist and philosopher Alexander Solzhenitsyn wisely wrote that “the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being.” It is our job to remember this when considering the flaws of the world around us. If we remember both our own misery and God’s mercy, we can begin to have mercy toward our broken world.
After coming to this realization, I reexamined my anger at those politicians I mentioned earlier. Instead of instantly turning to anger, I saw my own misery reflected in their failures and was able to have mercy on them. By God’s grace, I could see our mutual, broken humanity and found in that humanity genuine charity for those individuals.
4. Suffering with others
The last lesson I learned from St. Faustina is perhaps the most important. In her diary she writes, “I feel tremendous pain when I see the sufferings of my neighbors. All my neighbors’ sufferings reverberate in my own heart; I carry their anguish in my heart…I would like all their sorrows to fall upon me, in order to relieve my neighbor.”
If we truly feel the pain of others like Faustina did, how can we be angry at their failures? How can we judge the intentions behind their actions if we pray for the grace to feel their pain? At one point in her diary, Faustina is shown sinners in hell. Instead of being angry at them for their failures, she felt the suffering they were enduring deeply in her heart and was led to pray for all those who are in danger of choosing separation from God. This experience of compassion isn’t limited to mystical visions––we can experience the pain of those we see suffering on the streets, on the news, in our workplaces, and in our own homes. Like Faustina, we can let it lead us to intercessory prayer instead of judgement.
For me, this has been the hardest lesson to learn. It is truly a gift from God to feel the pain of others, especially those you disagree with, but it is a gift for which I try to pray daily. One easy prayer for this gift is simply to ask the Lord, “Break my heart for what breaks yours.” If we ask this, we can have confidence that he will answer and allow us to suffer with our brothers and sisters.
Though this may be the most difficult of Faustina’s lessons, it is the most powerful. It has the power to unite us with both Christ’s sufferings and the sufferings of our neighbor. This kind of love enables us to overcome anger and resentment and instead participate in one of the greatest gifts one can give—the gift of mercy.
A way forward
If you are like me and have been ashamed or embarrassed by your struggle with anger and resentment, these lessons are for you too. I challenge you to try to implement just one of these lessons in your life and see how it transforms your mindset. I also challenge you to try praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet. This beautiful and simple prayer, which you can learn here, unites our hearts with the sufferings of Christ and can help us guide our minds to think with mercy first. As individuals and as a society, mercy is the way forward in our increasingly divided world. At St. Faustina’s canonization in 2000, Pope John Paul II spoke about the gift of her message of mercy. His words (which can be read in full here) are still vital for us to remember today:
What will the years ahead bring us? What will man’s future on earth be like? We are not given to know. However, it is certain that in addition to new progress there will unfortunately be no lack of painful experiences. But the light of divine mercy, which the Lord in a way wished to return to the world through St. Faustina’s charism, will illumine the way for the men and women of the third millennium.
Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from attempting to have mercy, both on yourself and on others. Like St. Faustina, simply remember your own littleness and let the light of Divine Mercy shine through you to a world that desperately needs it.
To learn more about St. Faustina and Jesus’ message of Divine Mercy visit: https://www.thedivinemercy.org
*All quotes in the article credited to St. Faustina can be found in her diary
