Understanding The Social Dilemma: A Catholic Perspective
By Odelia Mathews
“I always felt, like fundamentally, it was the force for good; I don’t know if I feel that way now,” said one of the whistle-blowers in the American docu-drama, The Social Dilemma, which recently appeared on Netflix and was directed by Jeff Orlowski. Dubbed by many as one of the most powerful documentaries of 2020, it’s the one film you don’t want to miss out on. Packed with insights and commentary from the insiders of Silicon Valley–– including the likes of Facebook, Instagram, Google, YouTube, Snapchat, and TikTok––it will leave you questioning your own involvement in a social dilemma driven by people like you and me, our friends, and even our children.
As a media professional who has been part of this digital revolution propelled by the recent pandemic, I know I’ve questioned the typical use and addiction to social media in a similar fashion to the former employees at Facebook, Instagram, and Google who were interviewed for this documentary. In many ways, we (media and marketing specialists, advertisers, and publicists) have been involved in driving content on social media where people are viewed not as humans but as consumers and followers or, ultimately, products.
Tristan Harris, former Google Design Ethicist, puts it succinctly: “If you’re not paying for the product, then you are the product.” Let that sink in for a moment because, the truth is, on the web—which has increasingly become a place of social interaction—people are conditioned to behave, think, and act in a particular way, as seen in the hypothetical family drama that unfolds within the documentary.
The case in point here is that we have begun to view people as products, where our information, and our online personalities are sold to advertisers seeking to attract, engage, and convert us to loyal followers. It’s in this obsession that many women begin to lose our Catholic identity and dignity, inadvertently becoming followers of all sorts of idols, from brands to influencers and beyond.
Facts First
Soon after The Social Dilemma was released on Netflix in September, Facebook responded by claiming that it “buries the substance in sensationalism” and offers a distorted view of how social media platforms work. Without denying the presence of “difficult and complex societal problems” caused by social platforms, Facebook’s response tackled issues such as social addiction, data collection, and algorithms used to track user behavior, amongst a few other aspects.
On one side of the coin, the benefits of social media are undeniable: it has led to a world where business and information are at our fingertips, and to the ability to connect with our loved ones irrespective of our geographical location. The crux of this debate, though, is crucial because this is where social connections and interactions are like a double-edged sword with the power to negatively manipulate an individual’s intellect, will, and mental psychology.
When a new user is exposed to social media, the vicious cycle of comparison, follower count, attraction, consumption, and addiction begins, as The Social Dilemma makes clear. In striving to keep up with social competition, everyone tries to fit in, and the much dreaded FOMO settles in as anxiety. These challenges cause many young women to compete with the competition by way of neglecting their own moral values.
Take the case of Halima Aaden, the Somali-American hijabi model who recently quit social media because she felt that she was subjected to adopt a direction contrary to her faith and culture. In the same vein, there’s no lack of examples that showcase social media’s ugly side with trolling, defamatory attacks, and cyberbullying becoming a part of daily life.
Similarly, teenagers and many young women have admitted to surmounting pressure and anxiety from social interactions wherein they constantly compare themselves and their lives to influencers, celebrities, or other people. In fact the cosmetic industry in the United Arab Emirates experienced a surge in women of all ages opting for surgery to attain an hour-glass figure, Brazilian buttocks, and plumped lips, as popularized by the Kardashian clan and driven by the cult of beauty. With the popularity of Snapchat and Instagram filters, we’re now seeing a whole new extreme of beauty with “snapchat dysmorphia” as explained in The Social Dilemma by an insider, which describes how young adults are now visiting plastic surgeons to look more like Snapchat filters.
Questioning The Catholic Identity
Given the facts above, it’s not hard to realize that teenagers are the most susceptible to peer pressure, trolling, and judgement because their generations––Generation Z and Millennials––are entering peak maturity in the digital world. This is precisely what The Social Dilemma brings into the spotlight. No longer can depression, self-harm, or self-denigrating attitudes be hidden because of the growing awareness surrounding the relationship between mental health and social addictions which is known to be a cause of depression among young adults.
“Growing up, you tend to compare yourself to everyone around you. You try to look or dress in a certain way and it's not just when you are younger, but it happens at every stage of life ‘til you figure out who you are as a person and what it is you want to be,” admits Abigail Furtado, a 23 year-old practicing Catholic who volunteers her time working with catechists and young adults at her local parish in Dubai.
Furtado started using social media at the age of 16 and recalls a time when self-harm was more of a fad used by many teenagers who would publicize it. “Personally, I knew a lot of girls whom I went to school with who did that and I’m not embarrassed to admit that I was one of them who did it too,” she confesses. Just a few of the challenges she faced when engaging with social media include: questioning her Catholic identity in light of the LGBTQ paradigm and battling the tendency to downplay chastity.
Questioning & Reasoning
“Once you start, you can’t stop. The problem is most of the time it’s just mindless scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat, etc.,” adds Mary Ann*, a catechist and mother to three daughters. “There is a whole new world to social media since I started using it. In the beginning, it was to share thoughts and ideas and pictures between friends. Now we have so-called ‘influencers’ showing and telling us what life should be like. It is a baseline that is unattainable for anyone.”
However, the real challenge sets in when users adopt a skewed sense of reality, which due to an unattainable body image or lifestyle standards, can tear away at a woman’s sense of self-worth, love, and acceptance. For many parents like Mary Ann, the questions are the same when it comes to the detrimental effect that social media can have, especially for young adults who are easily influenced by what they see and who they follow.
“I catechize teens around the age of 15 and 16 and can already see how social media has an effect on their lives. Many admit to having Instagram and following influencers and trying to imitate them. Most of the content out there is obviously not Catholic but rather the opposite. There is an obsession for perfection, for brand names (this becoming an idol), luxury lifestyle, parties etc. These girls then lose their self-esteem. They forget that they are created in the image of God, loved by Him for who they are (His children) and not what they wear,” adds Mary Ann, sharing how she fears this will be a reality in her own home soon if she does not remind her young daughters about real beauty: having a pure heart and being a child of God.
A New Perspective
I found my own answer to this social dilemma and its effect on women of faith when I read the Pastoral Letter “In the World, Not of the World” by Bishop Paul Hinder, the Apostolic Vicar of Southern Arabia and the Apostolic Administrator of Northern Arabia. The letter contains a befitting response to those desiring to live out their Catholic identity and confront a digital predicament of our time: adopting and following idols.
Bishop Paul Hinder explains, “We often want to please everybody and make their gods our gods. If we do not have the strength from inside, from ‘God’s love that has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit’ (Rom 5:5), we shall lose the battle. We know well that instead of being transformed, we can easily risk being conformed!”
As women of the world, we are called to be in it but not of it, to walk alongside others but not follow others. As St. Paul instructs, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Rom 12:2). It is here that we encounter the mindset required when engaging with a socially connected world: we are called to refrain from conforming to common social standards by discerning what is God’s will for us in our individual journey. We find comfort in viewing Christ in others––instead of viewing them as products––and in knowing that we are not called to fit in, but to stand out in our actions, words, and values.
Women of Faith
By following a path of our own and abandoning societal standards that pressurize women to fit in with the crowd, we find a renewed place for women of faith. For this, we must borrow a mantle of grace from our Blessed Mother, ready to face the world with an interior strength which emanates from our identity in Christ. 1 Peter 3:3-4 explains the true beauty of a woman who reflects Christ in her: “Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God.”
The final question that remains, then, is this: As women of faith, how then can we walk this fine line and remain socially connected while being spiritually rooted as we navigate our own paths to embrace digital and social connections? Dr. Clarice Mendonca, a Dubai-based Catholic Clinical Psychologist and Neuropsychology Specialist, suggests taking effective low-impact steps instead of making dramatic changes, striving to remain centered by opting for a moderate and reasonable approach. “Elimination and exclusion are never the solutions,” she explains. “Don't just focus on the evils, but also appreciate its value and shared difficulties, that it is a useful tool. Most importantly, practice what you preach.”
If women follow the crowd and succumb to being conformed, they abandon the ability to transform themselves through grace and spirit, that which Christ has imprinted on them. From bearing crosses with perseverance as Mother Mary did in the midst of her mundane, ordinary, and far-from-perfect life, to embracing an interior spirit of gentle humility and meekness, there is much more to the world than becoming followers addicted to curated feeds of glamour, glitz, and false idols. Instead, the onus is on women who dare to model a virtuous life in a world obsessed with the visible curves of the Kardashians and the lyrics of Cardi B.
In his pastoral letter, Bishop Paul Hinder relates the example of the wisest man that ever lived (King Solomon), as explained by Pope Francis. If he could be led astray by his wives due to the influence of love, lust, and false gods (money, power, and pleasure) then the very apt question to all women is this: Will you conform or transform? Will you practice what you preach? Will you lead with a spirit that is in the world, but not of the world? Will you overcome this social dilemma?
*Some names have been changed to protect identity
