Serving Through Singlehood During The Holidays
By Meghan Wittmer
At a recent Friendsgiving, I looked around the dining room table and realized I was the only one without a significant other or a family of my own. Babies cried and toddlers screamed around me, yet all I heard was silence. The silence of my empty heart that echoes everywhere I go no matter how much music, television, podcasts, or talking I do to drown it out. This “noise” reverberates in my car as I drive down the freeway with country music blasting, in my apartment over the whirring of my washing machine, and in the office while my coworkers go on and on about their husband and children.
Not only do I hear silence, but I also feel deep loneliness when in these social situations. I do not fit in and am largely overlooked and ignored, albeit unintentionally. I can sense that others don’t know how to interact with me and converse out of obligation rather than with the genuine desire to build a friendship. My heart physically aches after such events and sometimes tears fall. When I find myself in a social setting where I don’t fit in, I find a way to make myself useful. This might be watching someone’s child, helping clean the kitchen, or encouraging a tired mom.
In the face of these struggles, I remind myself what the end goal of my life is here on earth - to reach Heaven and be with God for all eternity. Marriage is temporary - it does not exist in Heaven as it foreshadows the heavenly marriage between God and every soul who is saved. It is a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. When I die, God will ask me how well I loved and served Him and others regardless of whether I was single, married, or a religious sister. I keep this at the forefront of my mind when my heart is heavy, and God helps me to bear my current cross!
I have a great desire to love and serve others sacrificially and feel called to do so through marriage and motherhood. But this is not my current state in life. So, instead of sulking and waiting around for my situation to change, I’ve devoted myself to serving others at Church. I help out at the food pantry on Saturday mornings, volunteer with the high school youth ministry program, and lead the young adult group. These activities require a lot of time and energy, but give so much in return - a sense of purpose, community, and friendships.
As the holidays approach and the Hallmark movies and Christmas songs remind you of your singleness, remember that being with Jesus in Heaven is all that matters. Your relationship with Him must always come first, because that is what will last…forever.
